Throughout my life, people had told me that I didn’t know how to love others properly…or that I had a weird way of showing my love for others. I’ve learned some things since then.
One thing that sticks out in my head most is how those same people who condemned me also showed me a really funny way of love. You see I learned growing up that loving someone meant you love them until they didn’t serve you anymore. They showed me that love only lasted until you did something that hurt them or made them angry. I learned that people throw meaningful words around like “love” and “I promise” and “forever” like they really don’t mean much of anything.
Those same people that have ridiculed and condemned me showed me THEIR love by leaving my life, backstabbing me, etc. As I look back on my life, between my two parents, my siblings, my aunts and uncle, my grandparents, my many foster families, my 2 ex-husbands – yes all of them – not ONE of them has every remained loyal, true, or fulfilled their promises. Not ONE of them has shown me real love. Not one of them had stuck around long enough to really show me ANYTHING.
It’s a very sad world we live in when you see things like this happening all over the place.
As I discussed this with my husband last night – even he couldn’t fully understand my thoughts on this because his parents had always been there for him – and still are. They never turned their backs on him. Even if he did something wrong – or he was on the outs with them – they were always there. I envy that, but yet I don’t and I’ll tell you why.
You see if we don’t have a good home life, or if we feel like we are lacking something – we turn to media to learn what we yearn. I’ve learned that our media – music, movies, TV – teach us that LUST is love. The love we are taught by media says “love is selfish.” People love for as long as they are getting something out of the deal and once they feel that has stopped, it’s “adios”. Divorce is so common today, along with parents abandoning their children and more. These things leave life lasting scars on others all the time – but we just keep plugging along, learning these things and in turn inflicting those scars and hurts on others. Is it no wonder our society is collapsing?
I guess in a way I’m lucky. Because I was never able to rely on others in my life that most people can and do rely on – parents, family, etc – I had to rely more on self and God Himself. Through my experiences I was beaten down, very insecure, and had no clue who I was for most of my life – until I found Christ (or He came to me).
I’ve learned to be a person full of integrity. I never say words I don’t mean. I don’t fling around the word “love” too easily – when I say it, you KNOW I mean it. I am this way because of the lies I’ve been told so many times and because of the thousands of promises that had been broken so many times. I’ve learned that hurt – and I don’t want to be the one to inflict that hurt on others. I respect those who are loyal and are full of integrity. Pretentiousness, fake people, and lies don’t work with me. Life is far too short to surround one’s self with liars and thieves.
This world is a tough place to live in and I gotta say – I’m so very thankful for God. I’m so very grateful to be one of His Chosen. I have no idea where I’d be if it weren’t for Him but I know it wouldn’t be a good place. I didn’t ask for the life I’ve lived. He however knew the life I’d live and He stayed close by my side. I knew it often times growing up as I escaped some pretty nasty situations – from being homeless at 15 and ending up in a “hood” where anything could have happened, to bouncing around from home to home – I was always cared for by Him, always provided for.
So when those people say that I don’t know how to love properly or I have a weird way of loving others, I would like to say – Yes, yes I do. And I’m glad to love as I do, because it’s far better than the examples that are out there.
Be REAL out there peeps. Stop the games, stop the shenanigans. Show people REAL love, through loyalty, and forgiveness, and by being an example. You just never know whose life you will change.
And parents out there – remember, children learn what they live. Raise them up in love and comfort and security. Don’t let the habits you’ve learned trickle down to them. That is the greatest gift you can give them.
Galatians 5:13 For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
Peace to you all, today and every day.