Christian Responsibilities · Marriage and Family


So often today I see Christian women living their daily lives in fashions that are unfitting for a Christian wife. Proverbs 31 gives us 20 details necessary on what we need to do to be good wives to our husbands in the sight of the Lord. I’m not preaching legalism here – only what I feel is important information from scripture that all women need to know. In today’s world of women’s lib and everything, it’s my belief we’ve lost sight of much of this.  I can’t even do all of this by myself, but I do strive for it. Let’s pick this apart for understanding – here’s a quick little study on what it is to be a virtuous wife.

Proverbs 31:10-31  The Virtuous Wife

10 Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.
(Literally a wife of valor, in the sense of all forms of excellence) My guess is verse 10 speaks of the fact that finding such a woman is a difficult thing, but so worth it. This woman is worthy of her husband’s love, attention, commitment, affection, loyalty and more.

11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.
This wife doesn’t spend his money foolishly or selfishly. She doesn’t waste what he earns, and he trusts her with his money because she is responsible with it.

12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.
She takes care of her husband, in all ways. She is agreeable, pleasant to the eyes, caring for herself and his needs. She does not embarrass him. She is pleasant to be around and a joy to those around her. He is proud of his wife and never ashamed.

13 She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands.
She willingly works hard to care for her family, seeking what is needed to care for them in the best way possible. She does not grumble and complain about her work….she takes pride in caring for her family.

She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar.
She will do what is necessary, no matter the length she must go to feed her family responsibly. She does not make excuses.

15 She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants.
Self sacrifice….not sleeping until noon and not caring for those in her home….sacrificially.

16 She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard.
She seeks to help the family financially, in whatever talents she has been given by the Lord.

She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms.
This woman does not sit around eating bon bons so to speak. Laziness is NOT a virtue for the Christian wife. She does not let herself go physically.

18 She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night.
She tests what she sells, to make sure it is pleasing to others – with the highest of standards. She works late if necessary.

19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle.
She works hard with her hands, doing what is necessary for others, selflessly.

She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is helpful to those in need, giving and doing what she can for those less blessed.

21 She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
She does not worry about weather for her family because she knows they will be dressed properly. In a spiritual sense, her household is brought up in the ways of the Lord – clothed with scarlet means to be clothed in the blood of Christ while snow is sometimes meant in the OT as “the bodies of the slain”. This could also mean protecting one’s family from sickness.

22 She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
She covers herself in a manner of wisdom, is not provocative. Fine linen and purple in the OT represents such things as wisdom and purity.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.
Her husband is stable, wise, and well respected among the community, partly because of the virtue of his wife.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants.
She makes extra money and wastes nothing. She offers her service and skills to those who work in cities and sell her items. She continually expands herself.

25 Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.
She works hard now, knowing that she is working as unto the Lord Himself and that her rewards may not be here with her labor, but afterwards. She fears the Lord.

26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.
Pretty self explanatory. She extends wisdom and kindness to those around her, never lying, never cheating or stealing, always loving and kind.

27 She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.
She keeps a clean and orderly home. She is not lazy and always makes sure the home is comfortable for all who enter it.

28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;Her husband also, and he praises her:
Her children and husband are not embarrassed of her at all. They love and care for her because she loves and cares for them endlessly.


29 “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.

What, in any of this, has convicted you and/or inspired you to do MORE to be a Godly virtuous wife? Which things listed here do you have mastered?

To many today, I’m sure this sounds harsh; slave-driving  Some may even call it a prehistoric way of thinking or that it is outdated. Some may even imply it’s a “war on women”.  But I know, as well as any other woman out there – that in our heart of hearts – these things are what women REALLY WANT in this life…especially after having children. God did that in us for a reason. He wishes us all to be virtuous wives/women.

Can’t we see today how we women, failing to be these things, have partly caused our societal breakdown? It’s not ALL our faults, but part we cannot deny.

What changes are you willing to make to be such a woman? Will you strive for heavenly rewards, or earthly ones?

Peace to you all, today and every day.

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